i want a freak in the lady and a bed in the sheets and a car uh i want a chips. i need them. it son my shirt. fuck. i have a shirt that says the joke on it and i dont have it here with me. i can get it if you want to hear it correctly
a kid from my school just got expelled today for pretending to be russian for 8 months. he pretended he couldn’t read, write or talk english he did good in all his classes because he had all the teachers and principles convinced he just moved from russia, so they didn’t make him do any work
“yeah.. you’re real cute!! you’re like man’s best friend” *dog looks down in disappointment* he’s been friendzoned by man yet again…
cute messages make me instinctively hide my face in my hands and fall to one side on my bed
If you wanna be my lover
You’ve gotta throw huge parties to get my attention and get your neighbor to invite me over for tea then let me run over my husband’s mistress in your car
